Trying to Comprehend God's Plan

“I’m not saying that there is no God,all that I am saying is that,it will be good if there is a God” …so says Kamal Hassan to Asin in the movie ‘Dasavatharam’…..”Sometimes I wonder,will God ever forgive us for what we have done to each other…then I look around and realize,God left this place a long time ago”….so says Leonardo DiCarprio to Jennifer Connelly in the movie 'Blood Diamond'….


When you switch on the television, you might see reports of countries fighting with each other,genocides taking place,famine,the destruction caused due to floods and earthquakes and the like…. You might have noticed or seen children begging on the streets…seen the people living in slums.... Does not a thought comes to you ,”How could God let this happen….?”

I must say that this thought always comes to my mind when I see such things…. Is it because I don’t believe in God or my faith in God is not as strong as the faith that the other people have…?

I do believe in God…that there is an Higher Power that we cannot comprehend…but,I must admit, I sometimes wonder whether there is actually a God who looks down upon us from the heavens above… When I look at myself and see how blessed I am,thinking of all the gifts that I have received from God, I think to myself ,”Why can't everyone be as blessed as I have been so far….?” Have I done anything for me to live so comfortably….? Has the child on the street who goes in search on food,not only for himself, but also for the baby whom he holds in his hands, done anything to deserve the life that he leads….? "The answer to these last two questions is a resounding NO… then why is there an imbalance in the our life and the lives of our neighbours….?Why?

When I ask such questions to my Mom,she says that God has plan for each one of us… that it’s all part of His Masterplan…We just have to have faith and believe in Him…. I believe that the word “Faith” is a very powerful word….it means believing something that we cannot see… Do I faith in God? Yes…. Then why do I get such questions in my head from time to time….? Is it wrong of me to get such thoughts….?

When I hear people talking about it all being part of God’s masterplan,I struggle to comprehend how an infant dying,a child losing his/her parents when he/she is yet to be a teenager could all be part of God’s Masterplan…. Why can’t God make me understand….? Maybe it is because of the fact that the Masterplan can only be truly understood by the Master….. and there’s only one true Master….the One who is above us….the One who looks down upon us from the heavens above….the rest of us should just have faith…faith that one day we’ll know…..

Imagine a world that has no poverty, no wars, no deaths due to hunger…..How great would that be…? We should have faith...faith that one day we shall wake up to such a world...

Dowry : Enough is Enough

There was this 26 year old guy who happens to be working in a reputed company... his parents thinking that since he already has a good job and is independent and of the right age,begin searching for potential brides for this guy who had it all...the guy comes home and sees the "bio-data" of the girls that his parents have selected and he decides upon the girl whom he wishes to spend the rest of his life with...he meets her,gets to know her very well and finds that she's the girl of his dreams,the sweetest girl whom he could ever hope to find... everything goes off smoothly and the wedding is fixed...one fine day the parents of the boy come upto the girl's parents and asks them about the dowry formalities...the girl's parents knowing that the boy happens to have a good job as well as a good character tell the boy's parents that the dowry will be given and that they need not worry about it.

This is just a fictitious story and if you feel it bears any resemblence to you or someone else whom you know,I assure you that it is purely a coincidence...

All of us are aware of what a dowry system is all about... even though it was banned by law some 5 decades ago,it still takes place in a lot of "modern-day" marriages... what has changed in the recent past is that people have become more clever when it comes to dowries... instead of explicitly giving a dowry, the bride's parents shower the family of the bridegroom with all sorts of gifts,jewellery,sarees as a token of goodwill...so that they can still go outside and proudly say,with their heads held up high,"We did not give any dowry...The boy's family is so nice...they did not even ask for anything..."

The people who ask for a dowry are the people in the wrong according to us...we say,"Only because they asked,we gave...otherwise we would not have given..." I,on the other hand feel that the people who give the dowry are commiting the bigger crime...

My problem with this whole thing is simple....How can a father give money/gifts to the boy's family in order for that boy to marry his daughter....? How cheap is that...? It is more worse,I feel,than prostitution... atleast when it comes to a sex-worker, the guy has to pay money in order to get what he needs... but,in this case it is the other way around...in addition to giving his daughter,the father also gives various other gifts...which is ironic considering that a father allowing his daughter to go and spend the rest of her life happily ever after with another family is the biggest gift that he could possibly give to the boy's family...a gift that no amount of money can buy...

Another problem that I have with this system is that, why do the girl's parents feel as though they HAVE to give a dowry cause otherwise they will be looked badly upon by the society...? I understand that there are traditions and all that goes along with it... but when you know that it is wrong,why not just stop doing it...? why not..? We know that the general idea that the society has is wrong, so why are we worried about what they think....instead of following them,it is upto us to correct them...

One more thing that people will tend to say is that ," I have the necessary resources...so what if they are asking for a dowry? it amounts to hardly a fraction of what I have,so I'll just give,it's not a problem for me at all..." My take on this statement is that it's not about whether you are rich or not or whether you can afford it or not...it's about preserving your DIGNITY...as simple as that...

The ill-effects on dowry are many... dowry harrassment is one... dowry is connecetd to so many other problems that we are facing... female infanticide being the main thing,wherein people decide to abort the foetus if it is found to be that of a girl,especially in the rural areas...this is an whole other issue that I dont want to get into now...

I know that I have written things here that some of you might find it hard to digest or find it a bit harsh...But,as the saying goes, "We have to call a spade a spade"...

My view on this whole thing is simple... Only if we stop giving dowries,will people stop asking for it...and until people stop asking for it,call a spade a spade and not as a heart.

India Anyone?

"Ask not what the country can do for you, but what you can do for your country"... so said JFK(if my memory serves me right)some 45 years ago... I get the feeling that this phrase is more relevant these days to us - " the Gen Next " Indians...

One think that I do often as well as millions of other people is COMPLAIN... complain about the state of the roads,the water supply,electricity,poverty and a whole range of other issues... India is a country with diversity in culture as well as people.... but, no matter what the diversity, the one thing that is common to all of us is that we "complain"... no matter how much we did complain all this while, you would have seen that the condition of the road that leads up to your house has not improved, or it would have improved only to get damaged by the rains in a few months...

What is required....? ACTION..... ok..... action is required,agreed.... Who is responsible for initiating the action....? it's US.....the so called "Gen Next" of India.... What are the things that WE can do to make sure that we have less things to complain about...? each one of us will have our own ideas and it's all good.... the best way is for people who are well educated(not a must) and who are really concerned about our country(a must) to take up positions of responsibilty in the public domain...

If you are like me, a person who feels that I am not cut out for this, there are loads of other small things that we can do in our own little way for our country... There is no need for all of us to be like The Mahatma... We can just carry on with our lives the way we are doing now... no need for any drastic changes.... just the commitment to do what we can for the betterment of our country is enough... like Bono said during the Live 8 concert in London last year just before he started with the song "One",....."We cannot fix every problem, but the one's we can, we must"....

The main problem that I feel that India is facing is poverty... poverty begets poverty.... what is needed here is hope.... the people who are below the poverty line should not lose hope that the next generation will not have to face the hardships that they faced... while they continue to toil, they must make sure that their sons and daughters get atleast the basic education... What is our responsibilty towards this...? We all have maids working at our places,drivers,etc... it is possible for us to support the education of their children... we can take care of their schooling by paying their fees,etc... this is an effective way to make sure that they receive education, as the main reason for the children of the people who are below the poverty line not receiving education is that the parents feel that they cannot afford it and it's just not worth it.... The maid who has been workin for us since I was born lost her husband long back.... You would thing that her child(she had a single daughter) had no chance of doing anything better that what her mom was doing.... I am proud to say that she is now a B.Com graduate and just started working in a private company.... the combination of "Hope and Education" leads to funny things.... (The TV serial "Hope and Faith" is also quite funny....but that's a different issue...!)

Another thing that I feel that we can do is never to forget about India... Most of my friends have left/will be leaving abroad to further their education....that's great....I'm really happy for them.... But what I'm not a fan of is of the people who once they go there act as if they have never heard of India....By all means pursue your education there...If you decide to return back home once you finish your studies,it's great...otherewise,even if you want to stay there,do stay...there is nothing wrong...just dont forget about a place you used to call "home"... never forget that even though you maybe thousands of miles away, you are still responsible to your country....

Each one of us will have our own way of doing things...our own way of fulfilling our responsibilties... just remember , "We cannot fix every problem, but the one's we can, we must."

Letting Children be Children

Just came back from a treat that my Dad's Friend gave to around 30-40 people..... you might think that since he invited so many people for dinner to the most posh hotel in the city, it must be for something really important.....like a silver wedding anniversary,a golden jubliee for his parents or one of children getting married and the like......NO......it was because his son got something like 94% in his 10th standrad exam....

While there is nothing wrong with a proud father celebrating the success of his son,the issue that I am concerned with is of how much the children are pressured by their parents....it's a very unhealthy sign in this "New Age India".... today's world is a very competitive place,no doubt about it....we always have to be on our guard...everywhere we go,we face pressures....but that's life and we have to accept it....like Darwin's theory,it's all about the "survival of the fittest"....

But, are we so devoid of sentiment that we are at a stage that we apply the same philosophy to the children who are studying in school and younger...? Children face competition in school but healthy competition is always good....but there is suppossed to be one place in the world where there's no need to compete or to prove oneself(talking about a child and not a grown-up) and that place is called a "HOME"...

These days I feel that I am finding a very disturbing pattern that is emerging.... it started around 10 years or so ago and it has steadily grown to what i feel are dangerous levels... it has come to a point where I am left wondering, "Who is writing the exam,the child or the parent ?" I see parents being more worried before,during and after the exams than their children forgetting the fact that they are suppossed to provide comfort and de-stress their children,making sure that they are in a relaxed frame of mind....

My Mom says that she learned to "Let Go"....she did not involve herself totally in the school life of me and my elder bro...she was always there when I needed her,whenever i needed any help,however small that help might have been....the fact that she had the courage to let me and my bro study on her own terms,do the things the way we wanted to is perhaps the second greatest gift that she has ever given us....we never had to worry about marks....all we had to do was to do our best...give it our best shot and that was all that mattered....

You might think that that is bad parenting....NO.... If i can truly say to you that i enjoyed my childhood(I still am....!)it's because of the way my parents raised me...and, I have not turned out to be that bad....!

My mom used to tell me that in her days only the "weak students" used to go to tutions...these days you see most of the "top students" going to tutions which is totally unnecessary.... right from 6th standard or so.... somebody has to take a stand..... it cant be the children,they'll do only what they see their friends do....has to be their parents...

The kid's treat that i told you about..well, he's sad....why??cause he got 100% in physics,100% in chemistry but he missed out on a centum in maths by FOUR marks..... why does that matter to him so much? cause it's been drilled into him by his parents that he should get the maximum marks and go into IIT.... I told him,"hey da,it's great that you want to go into IIT...but just relax,now that u have done well in your tenth"...to which he replied,"how can i relax,11th is very important....only if I learn well now can i do well in my 12th"....and so the cycle goes...... I can only thank my parents that i never did or do have to be in that position....

The one good thing about all this was that the food was good and I ate to my heart's content.....!!!