Letting Children be Children

Just came back from a treat that my Dad's Friend gave to around 30-40 people..... you might think that since he invited so many people for dinner to the most posh hotel in the city, it must be for something really important.....like a silver wedding anniversary,a golden jubliee for his parents or one of children getting married and the like......NO......it was because his son got something like 94% in his 10th standrad exam....

While there is nothing wrong with a proud father celebrating the success of his son,the issue that I am concerned with is of how much the children are pressured by their parents....it's a very unhealthy sign in this "New Age India".... today's world is a very competitive place,no doubt about it....we always have to be on our guard...everywhere we go,we face pressures....but that's life and we have to accept it....like Darwin's theory,it's all about the "survival of the fittest"....

But, are we so devoid of sentiment that we are at a stage that we apply the same philosophy to the children who are studying in school and younger...? Children face competition in school but healthy competition is always good....but there is suppossed to be one place in the world where there's no need to compete or to prove oneself(talking about a child and not a grown-up) and that place is called a "HOME"...

These days I feel that I am finding a very disturbing pattern that is emerging.... it started around 10 years or so ago and it has steadily grown to what i feel are dangerous levels... it has come to a point where I am left wondering, "Who is writing the exam,the child or the parent ?" I see parents being more worried before,during and after the exams than their children forgetting the fact that they are suppossed to provide comfort and de-stress their children,making sure that they are in a relaxed frame of mind....

My Mom says that she learned to "Let Go"....she did not involve herself totally in the school life of me and my elder bro...she was always there when I needed her,whenever i needed any help,however small that help might have been....the fact that she had the courage to let me and my bro study on her own terms,do the things the way we wanted to is perhaps the second greatest gift that she has ever given us....we never had to worry about marks....all we had to do was to do our best...give it our best shot and that was all that mattered....

You might think that that is bad parenting....NO.... If i can truly say to you that i enjoyed my childhood(I still am....!)it's because of the way my parents raised me...and, I have not turned out to be that bad....!

My mom used to tell me that in her days only the "weak students" used to go to tutions...these days you see most of the "top students" going to tutions which is totally unnecessary.... right from 6th standard or so.... somebody has to take a stand..... it cant be the children,they'll do only what they see their friends do....has to be their parents...

The kid's treat that i told you about..well, he's sad....why??cause he got 100% in physics,100% in chemistry but he missed out on a centum in maths by FOUR marks..... why does that matter to him so much? cause it's been drilled into him by his parents that he should get the maximum marks and go into IIT.... I told him,"hey da,it's great that you want to go into IIT...but just relax,now that u have done well in your tenth"...to which he replied,"how can i relax,11th is very important....only if I learn well now can i do well in my 12th"....and so the cycle goes...... I can only thank my parents that i never did or do have to be in that position....

The one good thing about all this was that the food was good and I ate to my heart's content.....!!!